Potential Painted.

I've been obsessed with the Summer Walker song “potential.” I’ve listened to it on repeat probably 20x in the past two days & lowkey in my mind I was singing it to my entrepreneurial, fit, funny, ambitious, loyal, honest, cute but strong & masculine man. I guess I’m sick in the head; I can’t help but to sing at the top of my lungs mentally running through the guys I’ve considered over the past year. You know the one I swore was “different”, the one I “felt like I’ve known forever”, the one who “made me feel like I could do better” or “be more”. Each of them I painted pictures of in my mind. Except their pictures looked nothing like the reality of right now or whenever they took up that space inside my mind. I painted these pictures with the potential I saw. The only problem with this is the potential I saw was always too much for them to arise too.

It wasn’t until the 21st time I played the song, that it finally hit me. I couldn’t help but to think why not me to me? What if the ‘potential picture’ I paint in my mind was actually of me. I look back at every situatuionship I’ve dealt with this past year & they’ve all presented similar themes. Basically, I ask people to show up authentically & ready to move forward to their dreams. A lot of the time this seems to intrigue them in the beginning, the way I move, the way I think, the way I speak. As time passes it becomes “too much” or they “don’t want anything serious” but really I think they get scared & decide they’re not ready to show up the way I challenge them to. After thinking hard about it I’ve come to the realization that I’m looking for potential in others in order to avoid running towards my own potential. In reality I’m seeing my own potential in them just so that I can avoid doing the work within me.

The song plays “you got potential, you got, you... you got potential, you got, you…” I close my eyes & for the first time I see “me”. Face to face. Me to Me. “You got potential, you got, you...” I see me, painted with potential. She is beautiful, healthy and happy, on the beach outside her condo on the Santa Monica beach after a hike with Zeus on a sunny Sunday morning, with a warm green tea in hand & a bright smile on her face while the breeze bounces, the waves dance & the sun shines light that mirrors the the light she carried inside.

“Ride or die for me .. will you slide for me? Holding it down for me” Summer Walker sings on. Me to Me. Who will ride for me harder than I’ll ride for myself? No one. Who else can show up for me better than I can show up for myself? No one. How has it taken me 25 years to see myself as the prize to be won. The “potential painted” “Me” is strong, she is loyal, hardworking, creative, kind and filled with light. She is grateful. Her body is solid, strong & healthy. She believes in magic & energy, when you’re around her you can’t help but to believe too. Her debts are paid off & her mom is set for life. She holds it down for me. She will always slide for me, so now I need to slide for her too.
“You got potential, you got, you…” Me to me. I see me. I feel me. She is happy, her heart is full & she glows from within, a warm light that showers over everyone in her atmosphere.

“We could go far, go the distance, I could see it” Me to me. She moves with purpose. She owns a positivity based brand that inspires others & influences others to dig deep within themselves to understand the life that they desire, the life they dream about, the life that inevitably is theirs. She believes in abundance & limitless opportunities. She believes we wouldn’t want a life we couldn’t have. Her company creates community for perpetual optimists, dream believers & other like minded individuals looking to create & prosper in a life filled with love, abundance, joy & connectivity. She gets emails, letters, DM’s, comments & calls about the impact she has made & the light she shares. She wrote 3 New York Times best selling books. She speaks at conferences & conventions to inspire others to get specific about the lives they want. She is determined, hardworking and capable.

“You got potential, you got, you… you got potential, you got, you….”
She is whole. She is beautiful. She is me.